He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
