absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
