Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you would pick up someone in the library
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
