Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
