whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
