I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
