all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
