I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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