the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
