We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
and she was petting her beer can
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
