On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Watching her eat just hurts me
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
