Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
