you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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