Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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