If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I love you. Go after that dick
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
