Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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