your thong is hanging out like whoa
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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