well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
