can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
