i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
