Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
