How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
They took my balls.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
