I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think people are normalizing furries
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
