STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
