Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
