I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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