We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
