I hate your face
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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