My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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