Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Damn victory sex feels great
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
