At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
