Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
