"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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