His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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