everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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