You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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