Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
