I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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