but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
