I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
