Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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