with your own penis?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
