Me. At least after what I've been through.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Randomize
