You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
