we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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