can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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