I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
