and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
