She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
