I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
