Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
